Slow Hellos

HorseSense first began in 2010, with 3 wonderful horses that retired from conventional ridden work into supporting people from the ground to understand themselves and the world around them better.

Horses have been shaping my life since birth, teaching me respect, accountability, non-verbal communication and to be kind to myself. By the time I had discovered that sharing this with others was a job I could train in, I was signed up and on a course getting my first qualification.

Murphy, the co-founder of HorseSense UK

Around this time the requirements for practice were a mental health qualification and an equine specialist qualification. I duly went on to get both, training in the Carolyn Resnick Seven Waterhole Rituals approach for the equine competency.

Carolyn's approach was founded on many years spent observing wild horses. Over time she learnt several profound things which included:

1. If you want to see horses every day, hang out at the waterhole

2. Horses have a process of integrating new horses into the herd

3. Humans can learn these processes and use them to develop a heartfelt bond, a bit like learning to speak the horse's language to be better connected and understood.

   
   

And thus the Seven Waterhole Rituals was born.

One of the pieces of wisdom Carolyn shares is the process of how a horse would approach a new herd of horses. A horse wanting to join a herd of horses doesn't approach at speed, it hangs out on the periphery enabling both parties to check each other out and decide if the new addition is friend or foe.

This is why when you arrive for a session, particularly a first session, we'll spend time in the car park chatting, or for workshops, in the classroom. It's a chance for me to get to know you and assess the safety of the session, whilst the horses can build familiarity in the background through sensing our energy and listening to our movements and tone of voice. There's no wrong or right way to behave here, we are as we are at that point in time - being authentic is an important part of being able to build a trust-based relationship with a horse.

Once I have deemed it safe to proceed (and I may do some breathing or movement exercises to make that so), I'll invite the attendees(s) to venture out to a place where we can see the horses and they can see us. This is the next stage of connection - visual connection. This enables both us and the herd to build an increasing picture of familiarity. The horses will use this time to assess the visitors and determine whether they are a threat to their safety or not. As flight animals, any sign of danger and they will move away, sometimes at speed, so if we want to get close to a horse we need to be as calm, safe and approachable as possible.

Observing the herd from distance helps build a two-way picture of familiarity

At this point, the session could go any number of ways due to a myriad of reasons such as the weather, what's going on for the horses, the time of day, the energy we bring into their space or what I feel is right for the client. The horses could leave, they could stay, they could be curious and come closer, they could continue what they are doing with little adjustment or continue what they are doing but modify their behaviour. There's learning in this, and we might take the opportunity to get curious about what we are witnessing and experiencing.

Horses like this slow hello I mentioned in the title. It means it might take 1-2 hours before our horses are ready to be up close and be around a new person. Sometimes they never want to. Other times they rush right over. Learning to be ok with both is a great life skill.

Jim says hello to a new person. It took 2 hours to get to this point.

With the horses, if people want to spend time with them I follow the horse's preferred approach to meeting new people. The horse sets the pace and type of interaction, not the client. We step into their world, not ask them to deal with ours.

Here we are taking time to connect on a deep, rather than superficial level, based on recognition and trust. Giving the other being space to be themselves and not hurrying those initial introductions means staying calm and within our window of tolerances. Not everyone has been given the opportunity to do that, yet here we are learning from the herd that this is not just possible, but where lies the most potential.

No contact

This means our 30 minute Taster Session may very well be no contact with the herd as we respect their space and boundaries. We may only ever get as close as a few meters away, and any kind of physical touch if appropriate may have to wait till the next session(s).

Being patient, going at the horse's pace and managing our expectations are all valuable skills that means any connection, when offered, is all the more sweet. It means the connection and interaction was earnt, given freely and the relationship is healthy. Those initial interactions are the foundations of the whole relationship. Meet the horse's needs there and you're much more likely to progress to something more at a later date.

Any questions? We welcome those coming for a session to be curious prior to their arrival. Feel free to use the contact form to get in touch.