Why Do We Love Horses?

I am sure the love of horses is a genetic thing, you either have the gene, have two of the genes or none at all. For those that love horses, they do so with a vigour; but what is it about them that makes them so attractive to be with?

I suspect answer to this lies closer to home than we would imagine. In my experience, we love things that enhance our sense of Self in some way. Thus it's not the horse so much that we love, but how the horse makes us feel about ourselves.

Majestic, magical, powerful, intelligent, insightful, naughty, perceptive, cheeky, strong: these are all words I have heard about horses.

The question then is how do we feel about ourselves when we are with such a [insert your choice of word] being? Perhaps we feel seen, heard or understood? For some, horses provide an intellectual or leadership challenge that stretches us to grow. For others it is something to look after, a status symbol or a friendly face that doesn't judge.

"Why does it matter?" you might ask? Actually, it matters quite a lot in terms of self-awareness, going for the things you want in life and having an ethical and sustainable relationship.

Once upon a time, the number of horses you had was a status symbol. Horses are, and have always been expensive, so a stable yard full of horses meant wealth and perhaps power over others. Then there was the horses needed to do work such as pull a plough, barges and delivery carts. These horses were a means to an end and they had a job in supporting food production, defending our country and transportation. Now we mostly keep horses for pleasure. Whether it's to race, compete, go hacking, acrobatic vaulting, hippotherapy (therapeutic horse riding) or as a field ornament, because we enjoy their company.

Whilst our relationship to the horse has changed, their relationship to us has not. I am always deeply humbled by how horses have shown up and supported us in our life. Whether it's the dressage horse that enables us to stay fit, learn new skills and make friends at competitions or the retired pony that gives us a reason to get up in the morning and think about someone other than ourselves.

Intelligent

It is my experience that horses are far more intelligent than we give them credit for, and that they know their purpose. Ask any horse girl that was lucky enough to grow up with horses where she'd be when she was upset? It'd be in the stable or field of course, with the horse that doesn't judge and that large, co-regulating nervous system. I find their compassion, tolerance and kindness to be almost endless. They know suffering too, and understand it.

However, what is in it for the horse in all of these interactions? Are we, as humans, stopping to see things enough from their perspective to enable our interactions to remain sustainable? When I worked for a top Australian event rider I was surprised to find that these horses lived to compete. The thrill and excitement of competition was in their blood. A recent chat with a client made me realise my 3 horses were bred to eat and be part of the management plan of maintaining the New Forest landscape (they are very food orientated). I feel Dainty takes her role as my horse very seriously often providing comfort when I am distressed. Jim lives for the clients. Squirrel loves children, I am sure she would have been a primary school teacher if she was human.

These are important ethical perspectives to consider, not just for the wellbeing of the horse, but everyone's safety. This includes emotional safety - for the horses and humans. I love that my horses have the choice to come and go in sessions as they please. Mostly they choose to hang out with the client. Occasionally however, they do not, and that can throw up some stuff that takes some working through. It may not be easy to hear from the horse that your leadership skills are poor, that you have weak boundaries or your presence isn't particularly compelling - but when we strip away the idea that horses have an agenda, we left with their brutal honesty and a chance to surrender our ego in the process.

Being ignored can throw up some emotions and create an opportunity to grow

It's important that we don't see our relationship with horses as a crutch to mask how we feel about ourselves or try and be something we are not. Most people think horses are for riding, which is something I get asked a lot about for our three. There is a lot more to horses than sitting on their back and benefitting from them doing your bidding. Having interactions with horses where only your agenda considered is "power over". Having a fair and equal relationship with a horse where they have a voice is "power with". One is harder to accomplish, but accomplishes more - the other is based on fear and lack and will always be limited in it's potential.

Which is where the ethics of our horse interactions needs to come in and we need to ask ourselves what changes in us does the horse make that we like?

I've had a number of conversations with people in my lifetime that have given up having an agenda with their horse and realised their relationship with the horse became richer. I have also met people that have gone back to having a focus and objective and have appreciated all the more what the horse is gifting them, that they once took for granted.

When we treat horses as intelligent sentient beings that are both different and the same as us, our understanding of who we are deepens. We stop seeing them as a tool and we start seeing them as an equal. Doing so improves their wellbeing enormously, enhancing the relationship, improving their health and increasing the amount of time they will be able to be in your presence.

When horses hang out with us by choice, what a blessing that is